It was December 18th 2004 and the happiest day of my life, marrying my partner of 10 years Donna.
We honeymooned in Portugal for 10 days and had a great time, and the world seemd a peaceful place.
Shortly before returning home I noticed a stiff neck develop and I put it down to sleeping funny on the bed in our apartment. On the plane coming home Donna noticed a slight lump developing on my neck, and thinking it was something minor I went back to work in the early January. The lump continued to grow, so without further ado I booked into my GP. 'A cyst for sure, take these anti-biotics and come back in 10 days'.
I took the tablets for 3 days and the lump continued.
Back at the GP he then immediately booked me into hospital, where I had a small biopsy on my neck.
Several days later I was called back in, and it was then my world came crashing down.
As I walked into the room all I could see around me were posters about cancer, I knew. I never said a word to Donna as we waited for what seemed like eternity.
I was finally called in and felt like a dead man walking.
The doctor confirmed my worst fears, I had Burkitts Lymphoma. Largely found in Asia and Africa it was common amongst young generations, and it was an intensive cancer.
Donna broke down and had to be escorted out of the room. I tried to be strong as I digested the information, and just thought of everyone around me, not myself. The mortgage, my pension, how will they cope financially with me gone ?
As I got home I had to make a call to my parents, I had to call work. I broke down as I spoke to both.
As the cancer was intensive I had to go to hospital 2 days later to start treatment. It was then that I actually settled down, relaxed, got to understand the condition more.
For 2 days I had googled life expectancies, how long I had to live, websites on Birketts, and just looked for the worst case scenario. As long as I live long enough to see the World Cup out in 2006 I was thinking, that would be the ultimate.
My treatment started well, it was all new to me so I knew no different. The nurses were great, my friends all came to see me, and I met other people in the ward and their families.
The first 4 weeks flew bye and I was off work, great. I had a few days at home then back for round 2 for another 4 weeks. My hair started to fall out from the chemo, I lost a lot of weight, my skin colour went white, I was feeling sick.
People were moving in and out of the ward, I saw my first experience of death as a couple of guys passed away in front of me.
Round 3 and I was struggling, the days seemed so long, the food was awful, will I ever get out. Will I go back to work, will I recover ?
Round 4 and bone marrow tests, 9 lumber punctures, other patiens urinating all over the floor by my bed. This was hell, get me out I don't want the treatment anymore.
My appetite lost, all I could eat was home made corned beef sandwiches that my parents were bringing in.
Eventually round 4 finished, 4 months of treatment.
Now 20 sessions of intensive radiotherapy on a daily basis. This was a breeze, I was home after all.
My hair started coming back, I went back to work.
My weight came back, my tastes came back.
The treatment had changed me, I was short with those close to me, I was looking for someone to blame. I still did not know if the treatent had been a success, make the most of the time left I thought. Drinking when I could, eating what I wanted, spending as much as I liked.
Time was a healer, although the old Alex took a long time to come back.
It is now 3.5 years on, I still go for check ups every 4 months, but I have more or less been given the all clear, life is good. Myself and Donna are now enjoying the honeymoon period we lost.
I don't feel like I have ever had this or been ill. I don't do charity events to raise money, but I do and my family all contribute each month to cancer research.
It is my way of dealing with it, I don't want to remind myself of it, but rest assured I am some grateful and I support other people that do lots of fund raising.
I guess I wrote this blog because it feels like the end of the chapter on my Burkitts and to give hope to other people who may be at the start, middle or end of the journey I have been on.
Hopefully this helps give people some answers to the questions I googled when I first had the news.
Each person is different.
I had a grade 1 Burkitts which means it is limited to one location ie. my neck. Others have it spreading to other areas which means a higher grade. I have seen people with higher grades than me beat this too, and I am still in touch with a guy slightly older tha me (35) and a guy in his 60's. They both had it in their stomachs, but all 3 of us battled and won.
YOU CAN TOO.
I can't emphasise how much staying strong is crucial. I also some people give up in there.
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Contributor's Note
This is my true story I have shared with you and the world for the very first time. It is my message of hope to anybody out there with cancer or in particular Burkitts Lymphoma. x
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